“If you want to get somewhere in life, my thinking is that you should consult with those who can see down the road for you and guide you to the right fork in the road.” -Jesse Petersen
I am a coach because I can tell someone rather early on some pivital life information. I am an answer man, and I’m often approached by people with problems with a wide array of disciplines. I can tell someone what needs to be done and whether or not I think they can do it. Notice that last part, because this is where people often end up not liking me. I tend to rub people the wrong way because I’m very honest, although I don’t think I an unneccessarily unkind or blunt. Maybe a tad blunt, but not rude.
Think of Simon Cowell, if you have watched enough American Idol to at least respect his opinion. I don’t always agree with his delivery, but he is truly being helpful to people by telling them the truth. Sometimes the best advice (if it is correct) is to tell someone to look to do something else rather than struggling at something that they will not be able to do as they envision.
Here is a personal example so maybe you can relate. When I was growing up, I kept coming back to reading about the military, weapons, planes, and fighter jets, specifically. I played flight simulators on our computer, nearly exclusively, every night from the age of 7 to 14. I could put the difficulty on high or realistic with all of the safeties off and land by instruments, malfunctioning parts, and on aircraft carriers at night. My favorite TV shows to this day are military/tech-related.
One day around the 8th grade, my dad told me that soldiers need to have 20/20 vision or better to get into flight training to even get a chance to become a pilot. I’d been wearing glasses since kindergarten and was barely able to see past the end of my nose without corrective lenses. I was crushed. I immediately looked it up and Dad was right. As it turned out, I was not eligible to join any branch for other reasons, but at least I didn’t keep that dream alive clear through high school thinking that I knew what was going to happen with my life. That would have hurt a whole lot more.
Did he tell me the right way? I dunno, but it was helpful. This is where my wife says I am not an encourager. I will not help someone in something that I see as a lost cause or a waste of time. With that said, what remains is whether or not it is better for you to get the truth (as lovingly as possible) or to have a good time.
How do you influence people? Are you an encourager, advocate, or do you simply listen and be a sounding board?
