Sir, May I See Your Receipt?

I am a cranky old man at the ripe age ot 28 already. As a matter of fact, I began one of my cranky practices while I was still in high school. I love Radio Shack. What electronics geek doesn’t? Wires, cables, batteries, and 5 billion things that plug into the wall. It’s a man’s heaven on earth, along with the other staples of Best Buy, Sears, and Home Depot. RAWR!!

Radio Shack has, since I can remember, asked you for your zip code at check-out. Some ask for your phone number. I have always told them they can’t have it or that I don’t have one. I often wonder if they think I’m homeless or a bold-faced liar. Don’t care. I’m not giving them one shred more details about my personal information than I have to. They have my money, and I have their merchandise.

As annoying as they are at Sam’s Club and Wal-Mart, I have always complied with the receipt-check. I’m not so sure I will any more, after reading this side-splitting article on Black and White: Customer Confidential. I’m afraid that the site address will change once it stops getting Digg hits, so I’m saving the text locally and will hope to be able to find it in the future.

Here is an excerpt to whet your appetite:

“Was there a problem at the checkout, sir?” he asked.
“No, actually, checkout was great,” I said. “Very efficient. But leaving the store was a little shaky. In fact, there’s definitely a problem there.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Well, for openers, I don’t like being treated like a shoplifter.”
“Sir,” he solemnly stated, “No one is treating you like a shoplifter.”
“Really? Then why, exactly, am I having a conversation with store security, who just happened to reach my vehicle at the same time I did?”

Minutes seemed to pass. I thought I noticed a funnel cloud moving toward Vestavia. A faint aroma of cotton candy was in the air. The forty-ish woman loading her purchase into a car two spaces down was wearing tight-fitting, corduroy jeans. She looked amazing. Finally the security guy responded. “Sir, our people checking receipts are doing their jobs. It’s a store policy that we inspect receipts. We’re trying to make sure you paid the right price.”

What he says next is enough to make me spray my Coke all over the place, so I’m going to make you go there to read it from the beginning.