In class on Thursday, despite appearing to not be paying attention because I was intensely editing this new theme, I was actually paying attention to what the professor was saying and Alt-Tabbing to take notes from time to time.
One thing, and really only one thing, stood out to me, but I remembered it last night when studying with friends:
It’s not so much what a story says as much as how you respond to a story. You can be appalled and disgusted by a story’s content, but it is more about what your reaction is that gives a story worth and credibility as a work.
That’s probably paraphrasing quite a bit because she rambles along at quite a speed, but that is the spirit of her stance on the matter. That struck me as interesting enough to jot down in my head, but not on paper. Not until last night:
It’s not so much what you are being criticized about — it’s how you respond to criticism.
I don’t handle criticism very good. Sometimes, I do, but not often. It’s more about the delivery than anything with me. It has to come from the right person, in the right way, when I’m in the right state of mind. I’m sure you can relate, unless you are so used to being criticized that everything just rolls right off your back. That’s not me.
Here is what makes critique bearable for me:
- You must be a friend, preferably someone I’ve at least shared a meal with and have some background to reference their statements against.
- It must not be for the sake of complaining. I am a firm believer in edifying one another, so if you complain about something, be helpful and offer a solution or suggestion that is clearly intended for the good of all involved.
- Ask or assertain if I’ve had a bad day first. Not much is worse than having one more piece chipped away at a fragile defense system after a hard day, unless getting an earful is the other option.
That’s what works for me. How do you handle criticism?