The Spider That Tried to Kill Us

To quote The Office: “That’s what she said.”

No, seriously, this was a truly HUGE spider. I was sitting at the coffee table looking at e-mail Sunday morning when I hear a very loud, insistent, “Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!!!!!!” I looked over at her, as any wonderful husband does when his wife begins to freak out without any husbandic action (new word – use it, love it, spread it). I saw her eyes fixed at the top of the wall above our breakfast bar and saw the biggest spider I had ever seen outside a plexiglass box at an animal attraction.

I dutifully watched it as she got the flyswatter, because I sure as heck wasn’t going to be able to get this thing taken care of with a napkin. It was as big as her hand with its legs spread out. I had to get the barstool close enough that I could get a shot in without sending it scampering behind the hutch. My aim was true, and bits of legs went flying and it didn’t move again.

Here’s a photo journal of the event, with the last photo being my iPhone for scale (note that its remaining legs are pulled way in).

PS – Sorry about the huge file sizes, but I’m testing out the gallery feature’s meta data and didn’t want to lose the camera info.

Comments

  1. Love it – Husbandic!

    Don’t think my wife would return to the house if we had anything that big…talking spiders here!

  2. Love it – Husbandic!

    Don’t think my wife would return to the house if we had anything that big…talking spiders here!

  3. That exact scene has played out many times around here. You do realize the importance of your one shot to ensure death, right? K was well trained and consequently, so were you. LOL

  4. That exact scene has played out many times around here. You do realize the importance of your one shot to ensure death, right? K was well trained and consequently, so were you. LOL

  5. @DM – What!? They don’t have big bugs in the UK!? Even in our new construction, I kill at least a grasshopper and a cockroach per week because they’re getting displaced by the buildings going up next to us.

    @ML – She told me that if I’d been on my retreat that she would have had to call Dewey, but I think he was already at rehearsal or would have been late.

    That would have been a disaster of epic proportions.

  6. @DM – What!? They don’t have big bugs in the UK!? Even in our new construction, I kill at least a grasshopper and a cockroach per week because they’re getting displaced by the buildings going up next to us.

    @ML – She told me that if I’d been on my retreat that she would have had to call Dewey, but I think he was already at rehearsal or would have been late.

    That would have been a disaster of epic proportions.

  7. And how does K feel about geckos? That’s what we have the most of here — no, wait! Maybe ants are fist and geckos are second. But we don’t always kill the geckos; we usually capture them and release them outside the house.

  8. And how does K feel about geckos? That’s what we have the most of here — no, wait! Maybe ants are fist and geckos are second. But we don’t always kill the geckos; we usually capture them and release them outside the house.

  9. @ Jesse – we are fairly bug free in England only small spiders or ‘daddy long legs’ – bet you haven’t heard of that one before…hehe.

  10. @ Jesse – we are fairly bug free in England only small spiders or ‘daddy long legs’ – bet you haven’t heard of that one before…hehe.

  11. Sure, we had lots of ‘daddy long legs’ in Ohio growing up. The strange thing is that I think they get eaten here, because I don’t recall seeing them in FL.

  12. Sure, we had lots of ‘daddy long legs’ in Ohio growing up. The strange thing is that I think they get eaten here, because I don’t recall seeing them in FL.