The Spider That Tried to Kill Us

To quote The Office: “That’s what she said.”

No, seriously, this was a truly HUGE spider. I was sitting at the coffee table looking at e-mail Sunday morning when I hear a very loud, insistent, “Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!!!!!!” I looked over at her, as any wonderful husband does when his wife begins to freak out without any husbandic action (new word – use it, love it, spread it). I saw her eyes fixed at the top of the wall above our breakfast bar and saw the biggest spider I had ever seen outside a plexiglass box at an animal attraction.

I dutifully watched it as she got the flyswatter, because I sure as heck wasn’t going to be able to get this thing taken care of with a napkin. It was as big as her hand with its legs spread out. I had to get the barstool close enough that I could get a shot in without sending it scampering behind the hutch. My aim was true, and bits of legs went flying and it didn’t move again.

Here’s a photo journal of the event, with the last photo being my iPhone for scale (note that its remaining legs are pulled way in).

PS – Sorry about the huge file sizes, but I’m testing out the gallery feature’s meta data and didn’t want to lose the camera info.

  • http://construed.wordpress.com DM Osbon

    Love it – Husbandic!

    Don’t think my wife would return to the house if we had anything that big…talking spiders here!

  • http://construed.wordpress.com DM Osbon

    Love it – Husbandic!

    Don’t think my wife would return to the house if we had anything that big…talking spiders here!

  • ML

    That exact scene has played out many times around here. You do realize the importance of your one shot to ensure death, right? K was well trained and consequently, so were you. LOL

  • ML

    That exact scene has played out many times around here. You do realize the importance of your one shot to ensure death, right? K was well trained and consequently, so were you. LOL

  • http://www.cffatboy.com/ Jesse Petersen

    @DM – What!? They don’t have big bugs in the UK!? Even in our new construction, I kill at least a grasshopper and a cockroach per week because they’re getting displaced by the buildings going up next to us.

    @ML – She told me that if I’d been on my retreat that she would have had to call Dewey, but I think he was already at rehearsal or would have been late.

    That would have been a disaster of epic proportions.

  • http://www.perfectlypetersen.com Jesse Petersen

    @DM – What!? They don’t have big bugs in the UK!? Even in our new construction, I kill at least a grasshopper and a cockroach per week because they’re getting displaced by the buildings going up next to us.

    @ML – She told me that if I’d been on my retreat that she would have had to call Dewey, but I think he was already at rehearsal or would have been late.

    That would have been a disaster of epic proportions.

  • Mildred

    And how does K feel about geckos? That’s what we have the most of here — no, wait! Maybe ants are fist and geckos are second. But we don’t always kill the geckos; we usually capture them and release them outside the house.

  • Mildred

    And how does K feel about geckos? That’s what we have the most of here — no, wait! Maybe ants are fist and geckos are second. But we don’t always kill the geckos; we usually capture them and release them outside the house.

  • http://construed.wordpress.com DM Osbon

    @ Jesse – we are fairly bug free in England only small spiders or ‘daddy long legs’ – bet you haven’t heard of that one before…hehe.

  • http://construed.wordpress.com DM Osbon

    @ Jesse – we are fairly bug free in England only small spiders or ‘daddy long legs’ – bet you haven’t heard of that one before…hehe.

  • http://www.cffatboy.com/ Jesse Petersen

    Sure, we had lots of ‘daddy long legs’ in Ohio growing up. The strange thing is that I think they get eaten here, because I don’t recall seeing them in FL.

  • http://www.perfectlypetersen.com Jesse Petersen

    Sure, we had lots of ‘daddy long legs’ in Ohio growing up. The strange thing is that I think they get eaten here, because I don’t recall seeing them in FL.