My first impression of this season after all of the terrific Hollywood Week performances is that everyone takes a crap in their brains when it comes to picking their first song for the first week. I’d call myself a student of the show, and I have some hard and fast rules that I’d abide by if I had the pipes to make it on the show. Call me a “Thursday Morning Critic-back.”

• Whatever you do, don’t sing a slow song. You want the crowd on their feet and raising the energy level.
• If your name isn’t Celine or Leona, don’t sing one of their songs. You just can’t compete. Period. Celine is Celine because she can hit those notes with a full-on blast of pure musical wonder.
• Avoid the top singer-songs that people identify with because of the artist who made it popular. Stick to a selection of band songs where it’s the music more than the vocal to avoid comparisons with the original artist. Again, you can’t compete. Caveat: see below…
• Unless you change the music in a “relevant” way. It must show that you can sing, compose, and be original in a way that doesn’t draw comparisons with the original artist. This can backfire if everyone likes the original more.
• If possible (able to be pulled off without gender-bending), choose a song performed by the opposite sex. It’s quite simply one of the easiest ways to avoid comparisons to the artist, but don’t be creepy about it. This could also backfire, so be brilliant.

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