American Idol Season 9 – Top 11 Pre-results

Bye-bye!

I know I’m cutting it close today, but it’s been a hectic day. I sure was off last week, but this one doesn’t take much thought. Everyone and their mom knows Paige Miles sucked. She bombed. She burned. I’ve heard Jr. High talent contests with better singing. I know for a fact that I could have gone out there with my favorite Billboard #1 hit and knocked her out of the competition.

Tim Urban and Andrew Garcia are still in my crosshairs, but there is no way they are going home with that disaster from Paige. She broke my #2 rule: Don’t sing a big song if you can’t sing big.

My favorites from last night: Crystal Bowersox (duh!), Aaron Kelly, and Katie Stevens after she took the mic off the stand and started blowing it out of the box. Siobhan did fine, but she didn’t have a great “moment” and honestly, I can’t remember how I liked or disliked Didi’s song. I’m guessing it was more mess than hot, but not nearly as much of a mess as the bottom three.

Leaving tonight

Paige Miles – please, no need to sing your song again.

P.S. – We don’t care how much fun you had singing it. It was painful for us.

American Idol Season 9 – Top 20 Pre-results

I did manage to get one of the four who got voted off last week correct. Then, in my amazement of how bad the ones who did get voted off were, I realized that it’s too much of a crap shoot at this point, so I’m changing direction for this week until the Top 12. I’m going to tell you who the Top 12 should end up being now and who sucked in royal fashion each week.

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American Idol Season 9 – Top 24 Pre-results

My first impression of this season after all of the terrific Hollywood Week performances is that everyone takes a crap in their brains when it comes to picking their first song for the first week. I’d call myself a student of the show, and I have some hard and fast rules that I’d abide by if I had the pipes to make it on the show. Call me a “Thursday Morning Critic-back.”

  • Whatever you do, don’t sing a slow song. You want the crowd on their feet and raising the energy level.
  • If your name isn’t Celine or Leona, don’t sing one of their songs. You just can’t compete. Period. Celine is Celine because she can hit those notes with a full-on blast of pure musical wonder.
  • Avoid the top singer-songs that people identify with because of the artist who made it popular. Stick to a selection of band songs where it’s the music more than the vocal to avoid comparisons with the original artist. Again, you can’t compete. Caveat: see below…
  • Unless you change the music in a “relevant” way. It must show that you can sing, compose, and be original in a way that doesn’t draw comparisons with the original artist. This can backfire if everyone likes the original more.
  • If possible (able to be pulled off without gender-bending), choose a song performed by the opposite sex. It’s quite simply one of the easiest ways to avoid comparisons to the artist, but don’t be creepy about it. This could also backfire, so be brilliant.

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Getting a Room at the Jail

German inmates were crying “foul,” or more specifically, “get a room!” at Daniele Eberhardt and his incarcerated girlfriend. In what sounds like multiple feats of hornyness, Daniele broke into the jail to have nighttime conjugal visits.

Fellow inmates are quoted that their “grunts and groans” kept them awake at night and made them feel “frustrated.” He somehow scaled the wall, evaded security, and proceeded to break in using a skeleton key to get his relief.

  • How come the jail isn’t empty with people able to break out as easily as he broke in?
  • Why didn’t the girlfriend leave with him?
  • How much are those guards paid?

He will be joining her in jail soon, as he’s awaiting trial for trespassing. Regardless of whether he gets to share a cell with his girlfriend or not, I imagine there will be a lot of “frustrated” inmates in that jail soon, as walls and bars don’t seem to be able to keep this guy from what he wants.

Source: http://www.myfoxdc.com