I have been, for a great many years, an introvert. I would say I was nearly off-the-charts-introverted when I was 16-18 years old. That does not mean I did not have friends, but that I chose them deliberately and with much consideration of thousands of attributes and scenarios. I was messy, but then again, that was how I saw people. I still do to a great extent to this day.
Last night, my shrink (I call him that, but he’s really a psychologist that is great with “normal” people) had some insight to some extraordinary changes we are seeing in me. Today, I peel back my mask and show you what’s underneath partly as a result of SOBCon07.
Ready?
I have what is called “a hatred of humankind.” Not my words, but his. People are messy. They hurt you, demand things, give you things, and then demand more because of it. After years on the playground, on team sports, and playing office politics, I was wounded. People sucked and I didn’t care much for any of them aside from my family and people I already knew. I wanted people to be like machines, like I saw and still see myself as. Weird, I know, but that is how I have operated for years. Until I met my wife, that is.
Five years ago, my life changed. I suddenly became more interested in how someone else felt than myself. I sacrificed my time, my money, my gas, and my energy for the well-being of another person. It was wonderful. Until I got hurt.
Now that I am happily married for almost 8 months now, I am feeling more secure with people in general because I am successfuly navigating a close relationship that takes hours of attention each week. It’s a lot of work, but it is decidedly worth it. I attended SOBCon07 all by myself without having met anyone else attending. The closest contact I had until then was phone calls with Liz Strauss and our many comments on each others’ blogs.
I walked into the social time Friday night and found an empty table to put my laptop bag at and wait for others to come to me. [Read more...]
What would you do differently today if you suspected it might be your last day at the office?
I had a nasty dream up until I woke up this morning. I have no idea how long I was dreaming this awful scenario, but it freaked me out. For some reason, my subconscious dreamt that the chief of Company security, a security guard, and someone lurking in the shadows came to my highly modified dream-like work area to let me know that today was my last day and placed two 2′x1′x1′ boxes with lids on my desk to pack all of my things. Then I laughed and told him I’d need more boxes than that, so they all left me to pack up.
