Weekend at Bernie’s Returns to Manhattan

The defendantsPolice arrested two men, David J. Dalaia and James O’Hare, Wednesday attempting to cash their dead friend’s $355 Social Security check. I’m sure this happens all of the time, but these guys brought the corpse with them… on an office chair. NYP and onlookers originally assumed the body awkwardly sitting on the chair was a mannequin. How wrong they were!

These two geniuses tried to cash the check, but they were told by the clerk at the check-cashing store that Virgilio Cintron had to be present to cash his check. Undeterred, they went back to the apartment they shared with Bernie… I mean Cintron… and dressed his naked body and began wheeling him to the store on the office chair. Having him there but sitting outside wasn’t good enough for the clerk, only when they went to wheel in (stop and think now – dead man sitting on a chair outside a store in Manhattan in broad daylight) their closest friend in the world, the cops were there.

They told them to step away from the body and the paramedics arriving on scene declared Cintron dead.

“Oh my God, he’s gone?” came the reply to that obviously shocking announcement. They are scheduled for court.

What is an appropriate punishment for this vile of a petty crime?

[story from the Miami Herald]