American Idol Season 9 – Top 24 Pre-results

My first impression of this season after all of the terrific Hollywood Week performances is that everyone takes a crap in their brains when it comes to picking their first song for the first week. I’d call myself a student of the show, and I have some hard and fast rules that I’d abide by if I had the pipes to make it on the show. Call me a “Thursday Morning Critic-back.”

  • Whatever you do, don’t sing a slow song. You want the crowd on their feet and raising the energy level.
  • If your name isn’t Celine or Leona, don’t sing one of their songs. You just can’t compete. Period. Celine is Celine because she can hit those notes with a full-on blast of pure musical wonder.
  • Avoid the top singer-songs that people identify with because of the artist who made it popular. Stick to a selection of band songs where it’s the music more than the vocal to avoid comparisons with the original artist. Again, you can’t compete. Caveat: see below…
  • Unless you change the music in a “relevant” way. It must show that you can sing, compose, and be original in a way that doesn’t draw comparisons with the original artist. This can backfire if everyone likes the original more.
  • If possible (able to be pulled off without gender-bending), choose a song performed by the opposite sex. It’s quite simply one of the easiest ways to avoid comparisons to the artist, but don’t be creepy about it. This could also backfire, so be brilliant.

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American Idol Season 8 Finale Prediction

I’ve had it with two things about Season 8: Kris Allen and Kara Dia-shut-up. Thankfully, tonight is a promotion-fest two-hour finale. I’m not sure how much of it we’ll actually watch. I think we’ll start around 9pm and fast forward through anything annoying, ridiculous, or agonizing. We’ve been warned to tape past 10pm, though, so be ready with your manual DVR settings tonight. Last year we got to, “And the winner is….. David….” and had to wait for someone to post the last part up on YouTube to see the ending.

Adam beat Kris like a little whipping boy last night, though Kara’s stupid song about hurricanes and other stuff that I can’t remember was clearly one-sided toward Kris’s style. Give Adam something to work with, sheesh!

If Adam doesn’t win tonight, I’m not so sure I’ll be a die-hard AI fan next year. He’s a far better performer, and if America is too stupid to realize Animal Farm is happening before their very eyes AND can’t vote for a decent pop idol, then we’re in a crapload of trouble.

American Idol Season 8 Top 3 Prediction

Last night was a rock-out night with the judges picking the first set of songs for Adam, Danny, and Kris. It was agonizing to hear the judges rip into the arrangements and interpretations of the songs because it was bordering on insane to tell them to sing a particular song and then say it wasn’t “right” for them. I almost threw my remote, but I love my remote too much to do that on account of Kara. Someone please knock her head off while she’s rambling, please. If she is a permanent judge, I’m going to keep earplugs handy next year for her critiques.

Danny was first for each of his songs, and I’d have to say they were his two best performances of the season. He’s really polished his stuff since the beginning, even though he has clearly been comfortable on stage from Day One. I voted for him 3 times.

Kris was second each time, and I am convinced that he’s only still around because there are 12 million women under the age of 32 who want him to get a divorce and take them home. I don’t think he’s going to kiss you (yes, you… the one with the low-cut top and the poster that says, “kiss me Kris!”) while his wife is in the audience. Be realistic and invite him to karioke night at your local club, because he doesn’t belong on stage with Adam and Danny. I mentally anti-voted him 3 billion times.

Then came Adam, third in the lineup for each of his songs. His U2 song was absolutely brilliantly done, but his Aerosmith song left me expecting a LOT more. Perhaps it was the shrieking, off beat backup singer that didn’t do it for me. I was expecting him to turn around and do the “kill it” hand movement to her at any second. His saving grace on that song was his ever-awesome last note. I voted for him 3 times.

Is there any question about who I want to leave tonight? If you’re a moron and can’t figure it out, I’ll spell it out and send you a button for “moron for the day” to proudly wear. K. R. I. S.

American Idol Season 8 Top 5 Predictions

Allison - photo from AmericanIdol.comWell, that certainly mixed things up a tad with respect to the Top 3. Considering last night’s performances only, Kris out sang and out-showed Allison. I didn’t think her innocence that should have been there was present at all: she was dressed like a hooker and her phrasing was all broken up like she out out of breath. It was not half as good as the same song on “Mr. Holland’s Opus.”

As much as I like Allison, I think Matt has rebounded since he got voted off and saved. She’s been in the Bottom 3 enough times to make me throw her under the bus. Kris has such a following, I have to say that he’s safe, too. You know where I’ll be at 8:00 EST tonight. 🙂