My 17 Alarm Chili Recipe

You all get a treat today! Anyone willing to spend $15 on a vat of chili and the tears of pain involved in consuming it will be thoroughly grateful for my recipe. You may skip the optional ingredient if you only want a 5 alarm chili. I always use my 6qt crockpot, but you can use a pot if you want to do it on the stove.

  • 1 to 1 1/2 lbs of thin-sliced top round steak
    • Cut into 1″ squares
  • 1 large (16+ oz.) can of crushed tomatoes
  • 1 large can of diced tomatoes
  • 1 8 oz can of tomato paste
  • 1 can of spicy chili beans
  • 1 can of dark red kidney beans (drain)
  • 1 can of light red kidney beans (drain)
  • 1 can of Rotel-brand tomatoes (choose your degree of heat)
  • 1 tbsp of garlic powder
  • 2 tbsp of chili powder
  • 1/2 small onion (finely chopped, or use minced onions)
  • 3 small, whole habanero peppers pierced to allow the juices out (insanely hot, but I like it)

Throw all of that in there on low heat and turn on the heat and stir every so often. The smell should drive you crazy within 3 hours. Good to serve in 3-4 hours. Serves about 12 bowls, more or less.

Comments

  1. Mmmm. Sounds tasty.

    There’s nothing like a piping hot chili or curry to get my taste buds tingling.

    Over the last couple of years I’ve been growing my own habeneros and using them in my cooking. The bush has given me three seasons, but this year it’s on its way out. So I bought some seeds for a variety called Dorset Naga from the UK. This variety is supposed to be the hottest chili in the world with a Scofield Unit rating of around 1,000,000 SCU. Habeneros rate between 100,000 and 200,000 SCU.

    This coming March when the peppers ripen I’m looking forward to some mouth singeing meals to be served.

  2. Mmmm. Sounds tasty.

    There’s nothing like a piping hot chili or curry to get my taste buds tingling.

    Over the last couple of years I’ve been growing my own habeneros and using them in my cooking. The bush has given me three seasons, but this year it’s on its way out. So I bought some seeds for a variety called Dorset Naga from the UK. This variety is supposed to be the hottest chili in the world with a Scofield Unit rating of around 1,000,000 SCU. Habeneros rate between 100,000 and 200,000 SCU.

    This coming March when the peppers ripen I’m looking forward to some mouth singeing meals to be served.

  3. @Stropp: MMMmmmm. I would love to add some of that to my chili. I’ve been adding Cheech’s Mango Habanero hot sauce to my sandwiches for quite some time now. I love it! It really tastes good on a ham and egg breakfast sandwich to wake you up in the morning, too.

  4. @Stropp: MMMmmmm. I would love to add some of that to my chili. I’ve been adding Cheech’s Mango Habanero hot sauce to my sandwiches for quite some time now. I love it! It really tastes good on a ham and egg breakfast sandwich to wake you up in the morning, too.