My 17 Alarm Chili Recipe

You all get a treat today! Anyone willing to spend $15 on a vat of chili and the tears of pain involved in consuming it will be thoroughly grateful for my recipe. You may skip the optional ingredient if you only want a 5 alarm chili. I always use my 6qt crockpot, but you can use a pot if you want to do it on the stove.

  • 1 to 1 1/2 lbs of thin-sliced top round steak
    • Cut into 1″ squares
  • 1 large (16+ oz.) can of crushed tomatoes
  • 1 large can of diced tomatoes
  • 1 8 oz can of tomato paste
  • 1 can of spicy chili beans
  • 1 can of dark red kidney beans (drain)
  • 1 can of light red kidney beans (drain)
  • 1 can of Rotel-brand tomatoes (choose your degree of heat)
  • 1 tbsp of garlic powder
  • 2 tbsp of chili powder
  • 1/2 small onion (finely chopped, or use minced onions)
  • 3 small, whole habanero peppers pierced to allow the juices out (insanely hot, but I like it)

Throw all of that in there on low heat and turn on the heat and stir every so often. The smell should drive you crazy within 3 hours. Good to serve in 3-4 hours. Serves about 12 bowls, more or less.